I have to remind myself of this fact. I woke up flu-ish. My first instinct was to really examine myself from the mind on down.
Am I really sick?
Am I feeling OK about everything? Or am I stressed out?
Has anything happened to make me feel worried?
Such is the life of a child of an alcoholic. Growing up, sickness was a weapon for many of us, It was a way to hit the brakes on an otherwise frenetic life. I’ve heard many COAs say that the only time their parents really paid them any attention was when they were sick.
So…when I am not feeling well, I do not just take it at face value. I take a moment and really examine not just how I feel, but also HOW I FEEL ABOUT HOW I FEEL. It might seem like a harder path to take, but the truth is, part of my recovery from being a child of an alcoholic has been learning ways to step back and examine myself, my thoughts and feelings, so that I can have an honest perspective on where I stand.
So yes. I woke up flu-ish. I’ve slept or rested most of the day. And I am going back to bed now. Sometimes, it really is OK to just be sick. And that way, when I soon feel better, I can go forward knowing I did the best things possible for myself.
Another part of my recovery is being at peace with the choices I make. For people who’ve not grown up in an alcoholic family, this might not seem like such a big deal. But those from the inside know that finding this peace, even with something as simple as being sick, is an amazing step in the recovery process.